“How’s college?”
“Do you like it?”
“What are you majoring in?”
“How’s your roommate?”
I almost feel like getting a t-shirt with the answers printed on it. I love my family and friends. I don’t care that they ask unoriginal questions. But I have a tightening in my chest every time they ask me what my major is. I’m stressed. I want to major in something that would not pay the bills, it probably wouldn’t pay anything.
And then I remember my other passion, American Sign Language. You see, I’m not pursuing ASL in college. It was the only thing Hogwarts didn’t have. I plan on enrolling in an ASL program to prepare for the ASL interpreter’s certification tests. I always forget that part of my “ten year plan”, like something or someone is in my head and blocks that passion out. I over-worry about what “they” think of my major. And I completely space about the “able to pay the bills” career.
I forgot about that interaction I had with a woman when I was around fifteen. My dad’s side of the family was all together for a reunion and we walked our usual trek to the local Dairy Queen. I realize I can sign the name of the Blizzard I want to order. I sign it to my dad. A woman waiting for her order watches me and approaches. She tells me “You must never give up ASL. You can’t. That’s a gift and you can help people.” She was overwhelmed with the weight of convincing me to continue my passion. She stuttered over her tongue as she tried to convey the importance of my three short signs. I thanked her for her encouragement and told her I just finished ASL I and planned on continuing with ASL II next semester.
I forget about the God moment I experienced when I went to the Philippines last summer. I met a girl who was deaf but our signing alphabets were almost identical. Her name was Almarie and I signed with her, did my best to make sure she felt included. She was answered prayer. The previous summer I had gone to Belize and had just finished ASL I. I prayed for the opportunity to use ASL on the mission trip. That moment didn't occur. God's timing is perfect and He answered my prayer the following year with Almarie.
I feel like I forget to protect myself. Protect myself from the worry of failing those two expensive exams that would make or break my future. Yeah I could retake them, but the fear of failing could hold me back from even trying. I’m not going to let it. Whatever reason causing me to space on the angelic encouragement from that woman won’t stop me from pursuing ASL.
**2017 CONTEXT: short term mission trips are bullshit volunteerism. I regret the two I attended in high school. Here's an articulate essay that explains my thoughts on the topic. I also no longer intend to pursue ASL interpretation certification. I have developed carpel tunnel and tendentious and I no longer believe I was "called" to it in the first place. It was my interest then, and my interests have shifted now.**