I picked a church a few towns over so after the service we could go to one of the most lovely-to-browse stores (Paper Source!). I just googled Episcopalian churches in said town and this one popped up so my boyfriend and I went. I didn’t know how Catholic Episcopalian churches were, I knew they were related but it was almost completely a Catholic Mass. The hymn book, the choir behind the seating, the call and responses, the communion with real wine in a shared cup (wiping it for three seconds with a damp cloth is not going to sanitize anything).
The passage was Genesis 3:8-15 but this Sunday was the last service the reverend was doing so she didn’t connect her talk to that text which was saddening because this text advocates for egalitarian marriages! Prior to The Fall, Adam and Eve were on equal footing until the whole eating the forbidden fruit thing and as Christians are supposed to create heaven on earth, they should be striving for egalitarian marriages (shout out to past Rachel who tried so hard to stay Christian by recouping scripture like this. I now know people should be in partnerships because that limits one party taking advantage of the power imbalance so it leads to healthier, less abusive relationships which I don’t need Bible verses to know that’s just and right).
Anyway, I was not expecting the level of theatrics. At one point in the sermon, right before the reverend preached, the acolyte carried a slim red book with golden lettering above her head to the middle of the aisle before giving it to the reverend to read a section of Mark, and then the acolyte carried the book above her head as she walked it back to the podium. I believe the red book is just the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John).
The reverend’s sermon was shallow- she opened by asking a bunch of questions: Who is god, what is god, where is god, is there a god, how do you know there is a god. Several audience members called out “love” in response to what is god. The reverend walked down from the stage back to the space between the two rows where she made direct eye contact with the audience at a super close distance. She then segued into some statements on how “young people ask the best questions” but then went on to answer those challenging questions by making a blatant statement, “God is real… I see the proof right here… Is god in the person of someone who’s just done something evil? Yes… god is awfully complicated.” It lasted all of fifteen minutes.
Firstly, do you even have to know there really is a god? Isn’t that the whole point of faith? Trusting what is unseen, unprovable. And I will not give you brownie points just because you threw out a few sentences about how cool young people are for asking questions, as you clearly don’t take their questioning seriously.
The sermon was a cultural experience for me. Lots of rituals that I wasn’t prepared for, like specific times we were supposed to cross ourselves and stuff like that. But they did alter the call-responses from the standard boiler plate to include details like “May we all vote on Tuesday” (which wasn’t updated from last week, as last Tuesday was our midterm election). My favorite parts were “We pray for those in our community who have jobs and yet cannot afford housing, or fear losing their health insurance” and “We offer our trusting prayers to him as we remember those who are suffering in physical, mental or spiritual pain today.” And “Jesus offered abundant life to us all. We know that our loved ones, though dead, live forever with him.” I think this last one implies all are saved and no one goes to hell, but my boyfriend thought it meant all congregants. Like I said in my text to you, it was an “ah-mehn” church and I was raised in an “AAman” church so my hard A guttural attacks stuck out hard and I couldn’t get myself to soften to the ah!
I definitely have less anger attending this church than my parents church. I’m gonna check out a UU church in two Sundays (gonna take this Sunday off to do homework) but I’m so over church. Attending an Episcopalian church felt more like an anthropological study than a reminder of how fucked up my upbringing was. That distance- attending other churches- is probably way healthier for me given how little autonomy over my stuck situation I currently have. I am obsessive about checking my budgeting software, tweaking the numbers to see how soon I can have an apartment down payment saved, even if I can’t afford rent until I have a fulltime position. I’m definitely a bad feminist, I keep having dreams/nightmares where a rich man falls in love with me and pays all the expenses for me to move out. Saving myself will take eleven months, being rescued could happen sooner…
-Rachel