Did you ever hear of the Stay-At-Home-Daughter movement? It was a push in fundamental and evangelical Christianity encouraging daughters to not pursue higher education (making them further dependent on fathers/future husbands) and stay at home with their fathers to practice submitting to him until they have a husband. I am weirdly part of that movement. Although I completed my undergrad and am working on my masters, I am living at home and I have to follow some rules (submission to my parents). None of my parents rules are super extreme, besides the attend church rule yet I feel a little anti-feminist for living at home. But I really should be mad at capitalism cause groceries and rent is so damn expensive... anyway, there are my shower thoughts.
Sunday, after church, a couple of my friends cut my hair! Three months ago one of these friends cut my hair with me. It's our new hobby :) Like I told you on the phone, this hair cut is giving me mixed feelings. It turned out looking a lot like a younger cousin's cut that her mother makes he have. This girl was 12 when she was complaining to me about the lack of autonomy, and how when she's an adult she wants to grow it out, UNLESS HER HUSBAND LIKED IT THAT WAY. Twelve. Our indoctrination runs deep. I can only hope she gets out like we did... My hair grows hella fast so if I still am not loving it after Halloween I can grow it out. But I will look absolutely perfect for Halloween and I don't hate it, just this surprise association #worthit
The children's pastor did a wonderful announcement on how to help the fires. He had clearly done his research and was thoughtful- stressing the most useful donations being money. SO they have the capacity to spend time preparing for national trauma but just didn't for the Pulse massacre, the Vegas massacre, or the Charlottesville rioting.
Oh god. The movie for this week's sermon is Hidden Figures. He's going to ruin it. Happy Sunday.
"NASA looked down on them. They're not only women but black women." So he does understand how experiences people have compound on each other and he has a rudimentary understanding of privilege. Point one is don't minimize the hidden figures at church (I.E. the behind the scenes volunteers). I have two problems with this. Firstly, him co-opting the title of the film referring specifically to the black women scientists working at NASA to fit his narrative of mostly white church volunteers feels a little racist to me, at the very least inappropriate, espeically when he called the Charlotesville rioting "racial tension." Does this man even know racism still exists? Secondly, when did you appreciate and not minimize my mother's contributions to Sunday school? She kept the program running when you were between children's pastors, for FREE, giving at least twenty hours a week to planning materials and crafts and coordinating volunteers to teach classes. Back then we had three services in one Sunday and she would often teach all three services because of the lack of volunteers. You did nothing but take her for granted, including that one alter-call-like sermon you did on volunteering and how an unnnamed volunteer rarely got to go to church so please other people volunteer. Fuck you for not "honoring or valuing" my mother the way she deserved. You can talk the talk but you don't walk it.
Here's the boring part. I agree with him that all people are valuable and play an important role in society (1st Cor. 13:22). Volunteers at this church *cough corporation cough* keep it running, just like the six hours I spend reshelving at the library keeps the library running. Valuing humans and blue collar jobs (this type of work keeps our society healthy, functioning and improving) makes me not an asshole ( or at least I'm not an asshole for being shitty toward volunteers and labor-demanding workers).
Point two is don't discriminate. He showed the bathroom clip from the movie where the white boss tears the colored-ladies bathroom sign down so his worker could use a bathroom closer to her desk and get more work done. Him desegregating the bathrooms was not out of conviction for discrimination, it was because of capitalism (or at least we never got any internal thoughts from him to confirm he was doing it for the right reasons).
The pastor believes the Bible's term for discrimination is partiality. Partiality is hiring the boss' nephew for a job, not NOT hiring a black man or fat woman because of their biases. Apparently the Bible mentions four different types of discrimination. How this man can talk about discrimination and not mention slavery, the Native American genocide, Jim Crow Laws, or gay people not being allowed to get married until 2015 is beyond me.
1. Racism. In Numbers, god gives Miriam leprosy because she's racist against her black sister-in-law. People clapped for this point. All hail the god that gives people incurable diseases as punishment when bias training would be a hell of a lot more effective. What a loving god.
"We can't determine what is going on with players in the NFL." Actually, we can. Kaepernick has spoken out about it many times. He began sitting during the National Anthem (a song whose third verse is blatantly racist) as a way to honor the dead black people killed during police brutality (his fallen comrades. Much like soldiers kneel when one of their own dies). He was asked by a VETERAN to kneel instead. He has never done this to disrespect the flag but to bring attention to the injustice of police officers hiding behind their uniforms not being held to the same laws as everyone else. So no, pastor, we can determine what is going on with NFL players choosing to kneel. It's because of racism and violence disproportionately against black people.
2. Classism (James 2). He went into a tangent about how he's glad his children are colorblind (a dangerous and problematic idea that if you just don't see color you don't have to work to unbridle inherent discrimination we are taught to have because of our disgusting society). I think he meant to link the story to his racism point.
No pastor a white guy, black guy, and Hispanic guy with the same economic class are not basically the same person. Your underhwelming ignorance about how people are treated because of their skin disgusts me.
Oh my avocado. He just clicked his tongue and gurgled to represent Tagalog. People laughed. He was talking about how much he loves having such a diverse congregation (in the Bay Area, if the church wasn't diverse, that would be blatantly bad) and then he mocked a language?? What a racist shit bag.
3. Ageism (1st Tim. 4:12 & Lev. 19:32). I appreciated his inclusion of both young and old people.
4. Sexism (Galatians 3:26). No Pastor, sexism is not looking down on someone because of their gender. It's looking down on someone because you perceive them to be a woman. Prejudice against men is prejudice, also not okay, also discrimination, at the same time, it's different than sexism. Sexism is prejudice AND systemic oppression. Men have not been systemically oppressed for centuries.
While I agree that discrimination is immoral, you do not get it. You made mouth clicks and grunts to represent a guttural, not click-sounds including, language spoken by a subset of your congregation. This is racist. Whether you want to think so or not. And offering a Spanish speaking only Bible study doesn't make what you just did not racist.
Also, this church is sexist. Even though you had a woman pastor on staff when I was a child. That is a token exception. Women are discluded from the deacon and elder board because of our gender. That is sexism. I know you think god thinks women and men are different but equal and god thinks women can't be leaders, that makes your god sexist. And discriminatory.
Point three is don't complain or grumble. There are eight different types of complaining, did you know that, Belle? And it was soooo sinful of the Israelites to "complain" about their thirst and dehydration to Moses and it indicated a "faith problem" (Exodus 17:1-3). How dare they be thirsty and communicate that to their LEADER. Other types of complainers are: whiner (like those sinful thirsty Israelites), martyr, cynic, perfectionist, critic, wet blanket, moaner and frowner. That's right. Frowning is a type of complaining and it's a sin. How many sermons has he shamed people for not perpetually smiling?? Is this what he jerks off to? Shaming people into smiling?? What type of "negative" communication isn't sinful? Should we just never talk about racism in hopes it will go away, even though for the past forever that has never solved any problem? Pretending everything is fine and hoping it improves, improves nothing.
And now we are into the application. There are three action steps: admit your complaining is a problem, replace it with a grateful attitude, and take responsibility. He shared these directly after showing a movie clip of a black woman not allowed to apply for a job because they rewrote the requirements to intentionally disclude her because of her skin and gender is 3. not her responsbility 2. will not be fixed with gratitude lists 3. her verbally processing this racism and sexism is NOT complaining. He is, yet, again, being tactless. Big surprise.
He went on this tangent on how we should be more grateful because at least we can walk and see. While I didn't see any wheelchair users in the audience, I know of two who are members of the church. Tactless. Also, gratitude will not fix systemic injustice and that's all Jesus did in the New Testament was advocate for and disrupt society for systemic progress. Reason number 45 why I can't be Christian, the most political and anti-injustice diety in the faith is misrepresented to encourage people living through injustice to "stop complaining" and be "grateful." There's a great quote from Keapernick in this article about being taught to be grateful black people aren't slaves anymore. How do people not realize how awful, minimizing, and racist this idea is?? Slave owners would routinely tell their slaves they should be grateful they were kidnapped from their homes cause they got to learn about Jesus and be saved. Or be grateful that they don't work at the plantation over as that owner is way more awful. This gratitude obsession is the same idea, repackaged to fit today's racism.
This sermon was his pathetic attempt to address our the current climate in our nation, a climate evangelicalism perpetuates through nationalism, racism, sexism, and ableism (among others). Between the incorrect definition of sexism, intentionally mimicking another language and minimizing people's right to speak out against injustice ageism, sizeism, anti-semitism, anti-homosexuality, anti-trans, religious persecution of eastern faiths to name a few more), he should of stayed silent. Or just played the entire Hidden Figures movie and talk about the problematic themes of white men interceding on black women's' behalf for them to be treated remotely better.
See you soon, my darling,
-Rachel