There was a weird lyric in one of the songs, well, one really weird lyric, most of them are weird. "It's your breath in my lungs" is the one I'm thinking on today. God's breath is in my lungs?? God is breathing me up like a balloon? If I were to have an asthma attack is that because god is distracted and forgot to breath into me, clearly I'm his favorite human balloon, how could he forget about me. If someone dies, is it because god made the conscious decision to stop breathing into that human? What the fuck why the hell does a higher power breath in the first place. That's such a human thing, like gender. Why is your higher power not above human-things? God's breath is in my lungs?? This really wigs me out. Look, I'm a writer, I use metaphors but this is a weird fuckin metaphor that would have been workshopped out if the song writer asked me for feedback.
Guuuh they played a video of the head pastor giving a building update and he made a few comments on the terrorism that has occurred this week (Barcelona and Charlottesville, no mention of the mudslide in Sierra Leone but I guess that wasn't terror whatever I'm salty). He said something good, he talked about he's seen Christians on social media saying hateful things and that's not okay, but like he could think saying black lives matter is hateful and that's dumb cause the black lives matter group is not a hate group. He said something about some people using social media to contribute to the drama. Because condemning Nazis on a public platform is causing drama. Clearly. (He didn't specify what behavior he believed was drama so I'm going with that. Why does he shame social media use so much? Get a life.)
He also called the Charlottesville rioting and violence "a mess." He didn't mention the black man beaten with pipes by multiple white supremacists. Or the name of the woman who died (Heather Hayer) or even the number of people intentionally injured from Field driving his car into a group of people. He gave no information. He called it "a mess." He didn't condemn white supremacy, he said more about the terror attack in Barcelona than Charlottesville (granted, the American killed in the attack was from a local church. My problem is not him talking about other crisis', my problem is his silence instead of condemning the Christianity motivating national terror. After the Orlando Pulse shooting, the prayer an associate pastor said from the stage barely said anything at all- no mention of the mass shooting and hate crime that it was, just sanitized illusions and "god give the families peace" HOW ABOUT, god help us require background checks and licensing on guns similarly to a driver's license? How about apologize for being part of a religion that shames gay people. How about say nothing cause what you are saying and what this church has consistently said is pointless and sanitizes the atrocity further).
After the video, the worship pastor said a prayer, one line from that was, "With our light, we can drive out darkness." Light doesn't cut it. Condemnation of white supremacy, encouraging people to seek out education to work past biases, elevating those who experience racism, sizism, ableism, antisemitism, sexism, cisexism, sexual-prejudice (I'm removing "phobia" out of my vocabulary and you should too), anti-Muslim (or anti-people they perceive as Muslim), classism, ageism, I could go on, listing the varying differences our society is prejudice against, systemically, oppressively, against, but you get my point, right? Let the people who experience racism talk about the anguish that last weekend was. Give them the mic. And if you are a white person on the stage, CONDEMN WHITE SUPREMACY. This isn't hard. It can be uncomfortable, but it isn't hard.
You can talk about unity in christ AND say we live in a society that teaches and perpetuates biases. To quote the little girl from the definitely racist taco shell commercials, por que no los dos? Weird, they are collecting offering before the sermon. Oh. The sermon is gonna be about money.
Oh god. My old youth pastor is giving the sermon today. And he opens with a bunch of un-cited statistics on global wealth. I've heard these exact stats at least six years ago at youth group... here we go.
"If you're here in this room today, you're rich on a global scale." You know what matters more than shaming middle class or paycheck-to-paycheck people in this room (I'm assuming based on how those in this room are dressed that there isn't anyone at or below the poverty level)? Advocating an increase on minimum wage and increasing taxes on the rich AND mega-churches. Don't spew statistics on us not dying from starvation like 3 million do or whatever you said. We can acknowledge other places have it worse AND want here to be better. At the same time. I can acknowledge my financial stability in comparison people in rural Philippines and still want the people here to be able to go to college, a degree quickly becoming required to earn a living wage, to not be laden in student debt for decades.
"Money promises what only god can provide: security and joy." AHAHAHA he said money doesn't bring security ahahahahahahaha his other point: if you are operating under the christian definition of joy, than sure it doesn't bring joy. But money does bring security. Thinking having a certain amount of money will bring you happiness is foolish but pretending money doesn't give security is also foolish. You need money to pay of insurance to hopefully not go bankrupt if you get cancer. Or if your kid is born with a disability. You need money to pay for a house cleaner if you have chronic pain or limited mobility. You need money to eat. You need money for water. You need money in our capitalist society for security.
"If you've ever bought something you don't need with money you don't have-" YOU PROBABLY HAVE A CREDIT CARD ADDICTION. Addictions need therapy to manage and overcome, not shame.
"Act your wage." Great advice. Some other slide points: evaluate your spending, consider cutting cable, don't go into debt for Christmas. Nothing wrong with your advice. But the deliver and anecdotes? Could use some work. And not discussing the motivators for overspending? Your sermon won't be very helpful unless you pinpoint the cause. Overspending is a coping skill, not all coping skills are healthy. A person has to do the work to figure out what triggers this coping skill, how to better process that trigger or what healthy skills can they replace it with. A huge trigger of mine is shame, the thing that makes me feel the most shameful is hurting people unintentionally. I hate when what I say hurts a friend. I know this about myself, and I decide not to go on Amazon after this happens so I don't blow money on a few items on my wishlist. The United States sucks at processing shame. Read anything by Brene Brown for more insights.
"I'm not going to call them millennials 'cause they get mad if you do, but millennials," audience laughs, "have a me-attitude." Wow. Thanks, pastor, for insulting the very age group you ministered to. The ones you claimed to love and care for. Fuck you. Also, from a study in 2015, millennials are giving and volunteering more than other generations did our age despite the gobs of student loans we have. How is that "me" of us? We are also more optimistic about improving the world. I'm so sorry I can't afford to move out of my parents house while earning my masters so I "freeload" off of them, how selfish of me to live with my parents?? Something very few young adults choose for kicks, dumbass!! And I don't freeload. I do most of the housecleaning. I contribute to my household. And my community, I'm volunteering at a local library next week. Do you talk to any millennials now that you have young kids to father? Do you see how hard we are working, how much we are struggling to get started in the world?
Jesus christ I hate christianese. Self-control isn't how humans work. I can't pray for more self-control, god isn't going to give me five more self-control tokens. Evaluating your purchasing habits, your finances and debt, creating a budget and a long term goal, writing out why you are choosing to forgo eating out as much or buying that new movie right away, will all actually you help you improve your financial standing. Not willing yourself to have more self-control, but pinpointing your habits and how you want to change them and HOW you are going to change them. Maybe the implementing that plan takes some self-control, but it is the tiniest part of successfully managing your money. And it mostly has to do with critical thinking, asking yourself how far back from your long term goal would buying that new video game set you? Checking in with your emotions before you put something not on your grocery list into your cart. None of this is self-control. It's mindfulness.
And here comes the impulse buying-shaming. I might not need this new book, but I want it. And very few things consistently bring me joy like reading. The occasional impulse buy is an act of self care. I don't spend a lot of money at Starbucks but sometimes a sugary drink or pastry brings me a release of endorphins from investing in myself. This is not a sin. Also, impulsive means "acting without forethought" it doesn't mean lack of self-control. I can be completely in control of my impulsive decision to buy a candy bar at the check out stand.
"We are trading blessings that god wants to give us for stuff." Oh so I have to tithe for god to be ABLE to "bless" me? What a shitty god, immobile without my 10 percent.
"He will take care of our needs when we are faithful." I can only be taken care of if I have complete faith? Or if I tithe 10%? Be specific. And only what god deems a need? So if I tithe and don't have money for my meds and god doesn't tell someone to send me a check so I can't buy my meds, god has deemed that as not a need? How thoughtful of him. Also, telling poor people that they don't have what they need provided by god because they don't have enough faith is DISGUSTING.
Holy shit, Belle. He just dared us to give 10% for three months and if god doesn't meet our needs, the church will give back that money. What the hell. What does he define as a need? Can a non-profit just return donations like that?
"money doesn't solve everything." Money might not solve everything but it fucking helps. I've always had warm showers and food and a house to sleep in (or dorm room). I've never been poor, but I have been college-broke and that sucks. I can't even imagine what poverty would be like. Money would solve so much for people in poverty (like being able to pay for childcare so the parent(s) could work more hours, or being able to buy more veggies). Hell, more money would allow me to get counseling! That would help me solve a lot of my problems.
"Biblical slavery wasn't the same [as slavery in the Unite States]." What the fuck. Belle, apparently the only slaves in the Bible were people with debt who sold their labor to a rich man to pay off their debt for them. Tsk tsk tsk all those slaves in the Bible were just so wasteful with their finances and just didn't live their wage. Wait a minute, a simple google search came up with this wikipedia page. It sounds like some people weren't just slaves until they worked off their debt but slaves for life. Some were gifts to a man who married their daughter. Some were stolen from foreign lands after war. Some were forced into sex trafficking. Here's a quick quote from that link about distinguishing the types of slaves, "debt and chattel slaves, and between native and foreign slaves." WIKI-FUCKING-PEDIA TAUGHT ME MORE ABOUT ANCIENT SLAVE PRACTICE THAN YOU. You just lied, or were wrong, to 800ish people.
Belle, I walked out of service, wrapped around the side of the building, and called my atheist friend. She talked me through my hyperventilation (the first phase of my panic attacks). I trusted this man for spiritual guidance in high school. He was one of the first people I told details to about my molestation. And he turned around and insulted me, made generalizations about me and the youth he ministered to, without evidence. For a few laughs. And then he went on a really inaccurate tangent about ancient slavery. I trusted this man. I trusted him.
-Rachel