My morning started out with me answering the door and it wasn’t my atheist friend early, it was two Jehovah’s Witnesses. The first lady read me a Bible verse after saying good morning, then asked, “Do you believe the Bible and science coincide?” What an opening. I lied so much. But it ended by my lying. “I’m actually a Christian and I love my church.” I love my church, lol. But they went away sooo.
My atheist friend (really needs a pseudonym) showed up shortly after and attended church with me. We made zingers to each other about the worship songs. One would be straight up abusive if it wasn’t us singing to God but us singing to our significant other. One lyric had me rolling, “Set a fire down in my soul, that I can’t contain, that I can’t control.” Smokey the Bear does not support this message.
Oh and the christianese reigns on. In the bulletin, my atheist friend pointed out a blurb on Hurricane Harvey: “The most powerful thing we can do for them is to pray, pray, pray.” It went on to list an evangelical charity “we” are collecting special offerings for during the month of September (special meaning beyond your 10%, don’t cheat god out of his portion). While prayer can bring personal peace to the pray-er, it doesn’t feed people or rescue the elderly and disabled folks from their flooded homes.
“Raise your hands if you want more Jesus!” This new worship pastor is a fan of peer pressure. Just say no. I was a combination of livid and hysterical when the next song started up. “I was buried beneath my shame/who could carry that kind of weight/it was my tomb/till I met you” I didn’t know shame until I was a Christian. Until I learned my molestation made me not pure and no one would want to marry someone not pure. Jesus did nothing to remove my “tomb.” No pastor, I will not “clap it up” in fact I will cross my arms, even though mom told me in middle school people would perceive me as angry (i.e. sinning). Fuck that. I’ma cross my damn arms all day.
As you know from the title of this post, the sermon is about social media. But brace yourself, the title of this sermon, plastered on the slides and the little fillable handout, is #struggles.
“This is not gonna be a sermon where the pastor bashes technology and social media.” AHAHAHA here’s the fun thing about caveats, just because you say them doesn’t mean your words will align with them. And here comes a slide full of uncited stats on cell phone use.
“A lot of times, the first thing we check, it’s not our email or our schedule, it’s social media.” Why is checking Facebook after waking up a sin? That’s this scare tactic’s point, right? That this is somehow wrong or damaging?
And here’s another uncited research study showing more than 1/3rd of students felt “significantly worse” after 25 minutes on Facebook. Corrilation does not equal causation. Did they feel worse for procrastinating their homework nNOT from comparing their lives to their friends’ lives? How big was the pool of students? This bullshit idea that Facebook causes discontentment does not explain all the people who felt discontent before social media, or those without accounts. I’m not discontent not having my own kitchen because I see pictures of my friends’ kitchens on Instagram, thanks pastor for scapegoating all my problems on being on social media, though.
“Social media has potentially enhanced this issue [the risk of discontentment and envy],” that’s literally all you’ve said! That social media is bad because we are sinny sinners and become jealous of everyone else’s money. You can’t say that and be excused for everything else you just fucking said.
Now he’s quoting James 3:15 which says envy is demonic. So pastor, envy is demonic but not a church leader raping a college girl? Cause you’ve never talked about rape, assault, stalking, or just abuse in general, but you’ll go on and on over what you perceive as a sin because of one Bible verse and stay silent on the shit that actually hurts humans and has for centuries.
“Solomon, the richest man on earth,” who also was a womanizer and had 700 wives and 300 concubines but you don’t add that to his bio, just his class and wisdom on being content.
Based on Ecclesiastes 5:12- “See, envy creates worry and anxiety.” POVERTY also creates worry and anxiety. WAYYY more than some rich guy not sure which stocks to invest in or who his “real” friends are. A human’s body not creating enough chemicals to regulate their emotions also causes worry and anxiety. Stress creates worry and anxiety. Having a child creates worry and anxiety. Should we just not have kids or money? Will that prevent sinning?
He uses so many stats and psychology findings without disclosing study sizes, dates, any pertinent data that warps the results. I couldn’t tell you how many Christians poo-poo science proving climate change but take whatever misconstrued “fact” their pastor peddles in church. Plus, I thought scientists were bad and “we” shouldn’t trust them, but these studies that fit your sermon topic are allowed?
“Wife’s name and I are at a stage in life where we could buy basically anything for our kids.” Please, do continue to rub your wealth and stability in our faces, you scummy shitbag. I know your trying to tell us it’s a parent’s responsibility to teach contentment to their kids but this isn’t how to do it. Also, HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT WITH ALL THAT MONEY CAUSING YOU ANXIETY WHICH A SIN SO REPENT YOU SINNY SINNER SHITPANTS!
“Jesus is the secret... having him in your life will always give you more than stuff could.” Jesus gave me anxiety, where can I exchange this gift? I would rather buy the newest dress than be a balloon of anxiety, thanks.
Holy Avocado brace yourself once more. Apparently, a burglar got shoved into a pool by the home owner, didn’t know how to swim, the home owner saves him, the burglar pulls a knife on him and demands his wallet. The home owner throws him back in the pool and watches him struggle for a bit before saving him again. BELLE, the pastor is comparing us to the burglar and god to the home owner!! So god is a piece of shit and will let you drown for a bit to teach you a lesson?? God likes to drown his children??
It’s easy for middle class people to be content with what you have. But you are so out of touch with the real world, you don’t realize those too poor for food do not need to be told to be grateful, they need to be fucking FED.
“Thanksgiving, at its core, is an act of humility.” And again with this bullshit humility bullshittt. Fuckity fuck no I will not minimize myself and go back to hating myself for speaking or moving in someone's way. I get to exist, buddy.
“I realize you gotta work for some of them, but ultimately all good things come from god.” So. Which is it. You work for good or god just gives it to you when you tithe and obey him without hesitation?
At the beginning of the sermon he did a building update and told us he demanded 2 months free rent to get the new building set up then goes into how awful and entitled us social media users are?? I’m not demanding $16,000 off rent, I’m posting pictures of my dog. But I’m the bad one for being discontent of people my age not having student loans and being able to move out of their parents houses?
Once we were free and in the car, my atheist friend blurted out, “I’ve just been told by a rich white dude to be grateful for being homeless.”
I think I will end there. This church’s theology is so damn warped they think homelessness is a gift from god and all the homeless people MUST be grateful for what they have, and “live their wage”- a phrase he threw around a few times through the sermon. While living your wage is good advice, when your wage isn’t livable, should you just starve to death instead of going into debt? Or will you, pastor, give that $16,000 to people who need money? I know you get off on being a shamelord and reminding us, the ones who tithe and PAY your paycheck, how rich you are, but how about, fuck off.
-An Angry Rachel
PS I do not tithe there, just FYI